Domestic abuse: Children and young people

Information and advice on domestic abuse for children, young people and families.

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021

In England and Wales, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises children as victims of domestic abuse if they see, hear or otherwise experience the effects of abuse. (A child means a person under the age of 18 years). It specifies that domestic abuse occurs if those involved in the abusive behaviour are aged 16 or over. It does not matter whether the behaviour consists of a single incident or a course of behaviour.

Domestic abuse can affect anyone, regardless of age, disability, gender identity, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex or sexual orientation. Domestic abuse takes many forms and impacts the lives of those who perpetrate it, witness it and suffer it.

Types of domestic abuse

Domestic abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, economic, coercive or psychological, such as:

kicking, hitting, punching, cutting or throwing objects
rape (including in a relationship)
controlling someone's finances by withholding money or stopping someone earning
controlling behaviour, like telling someone where they can go and what they can wear
not letting someone leave the house
reading emails, text messages or letters
threatening to kill someone or harm them
threatening to another family member or pet

Effects of domestic abuse on children

Being exposed to domestic abuse has serious consequences for children and young people; and it affects how they feel, think and behave in harmful ways. Living in a home where domestic abuse happens can have a serious impact on a child or young person’s mental and physical wellbeing, as well as their behaviour.

This can continue after the adults' relationship has come to an end, and post-separation abuse and coercive controlling behaviours can continue to remain a factor in the child’s life. The impact of this can last into adulthood.

Domestic abuse in young people’s relationships

What do we mean by domestic abuse in young people’s relationships?

The government definition of domestic violence and abuse changed in 2013 to include young people aged 16 and 17, extending the definition increased awareness that young people in this age group experience domestic violence and abuse, and encouraged more young people to come forward and access support. However, younger children can also be affected. Young people causing harm have the capacity to change.

Domestic abuse in young people’s relationships can include:

physical throwing objects, hitting, slapping, and pulling hair
sexual making someone do sexual acts they don’t want to;
emotional telling someone how to dress, how to do make up, putting pressure on them to send nude photos
financial controlling someone’s money, taking their benefits, allowance or wages; and abuse through technology
psychological harassing or stalking someone through the internet or phone such as tracking their location or sharing pictures of them online without their consent

Recognising the signs something might not be ok in a young person’s relationship with another young person:

Emotional and behavioural changes that may indicate a relationship behaviour of concern could include:

becoming more self-critical for example having no self-belief in how they look
how they dress or act, giving up their own opinions and thinking their partner is always right
problems eating or sleeping or having headaches
seeming to be scared of their partner’s reactions
becoming more isolated. seeing less of their families and friends
stopping going to school or college.
and physical signs of harm such as bruising and scratches

Physical and emotional safety is one of the biggest considerations both during and after experiencing domestic abuse. When a parent or carer and child have not had the consistent experience of feeling physically or emotionally safe, secure and protected, survival and coping skills can be developed in order to increase feelings of safety and control.

Clare's Law disclosure scheme for previous history of violence or abuse

This scheme enables the police to release information about any previous history of violence or abuse a person might have.

Under Clare's Law you can:

apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you
request information about the current or ex-partner of a friend or relative because you're worried they might be at risk

Request information under Clare's Law: Make a Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) application West Mercia Police

Sarah’s law disclosure scheme for sex offenders

The Child Sex Offender Disclosure Scheme (CSODS) lets you formally ask the police whether someone who has contact with a child or children:

has a record for child sexual (paedophile) offences
poses a risk to the child or children for some other reason

It's not a law, but it is sometimes called 'Sarah's Law'. It gives guidance on how you can ask us to use our existing police powers to share information about sex offenders.

If you’re worried about someone’s behaviour towards a child, or something you've seen, heard or been told, you can use Sarah's Law to find out if that person is a risk.

You must apply for information about a specific person and a specific child or children they spend time with. You cannot apply for general information about child sex offenders.

Request to West Mercia police: Sarah's Law (Child Sex Offender Disclosure Scheme)

Support agencies in Worcestershire

DAWN - Domestic Abuse Support - Worcester Community Trust

Children and Young People Services West Mercia Women's Aid

Support for men West Mercia Women's Aid

Worcester Community Trust recognises the need to provide a safe and caring environment for children, young people and adults and risk. They acknowledge that children, young people and adults at risk can be the victims of physical, sexual and emotional abuse, and neglect.

IDAS for children and young people have specialist teams who can support children and young people who have witnessed or been subject to domestic abuse and young people who’ve been sexually assaulted. They also provide a programme for families which helps where young people are abusive to their parents or siblings.

The Survivor Pathway - Survivor Pathway West Mercia support

National support agencies

NSPCC: How to Protect Children From Domestic Abuse

Refuge: Support for children

National centre for domestic abuse: How to Support Children After Domestic Abuse

Safer lives for young people: Young people and domestic abuse spotlight

National domestic abuse helpline: Homepage - National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Digital support from Go ask Rose protecting the victims of domestic violence and their family from the moment they decide to leave up until they’re at a safe place.

For deaf and hard of hearing: The Deaf health charity - SignHealth

Economic abuse: Surviving Economic Abuse

Men’s Advice Line offers confidential helpline for men experiencing domestic violence from a partner or ex-partner (or from other family members). They help by giving you time to tell your story; offering emotional support; providing practical advice; signposting you to other services for specialist help.

Mankind Initiative provides an information, support and signposting service to men suffering from domestic abuse from their current or former wife, partner (including same-sex partner) or husband. This can range from physical violence or object throwing to abuse such as constant bullying or insults.

Childline is yours – a free, private and confidential service where you can talk about anything. We’re here for you online, on the phone, anytime.